CHAPTER 29

ENGLAND

LIFE’S LESSONS









 

Where previously I had felt proud of what I considered to be a prestigious, indulgent lifestyle, I became somewhat embarrassed when I looked back at our achievements which now looked to have been made on the backs of those less fortunate than ourselves in Africa.

If nothing else, our two years in this new country showed me where and how we had gone totally and utterly wrong in our role as employers and home owners.  Having arrived in the UK with the superior attitude of a white man in Africa, we had been reduced to tenants and workers with a lowly status of being unemployed and living off Government benefits at times.

But since my attitude has always been to find some good in every situation I managed to gain so much from this transition in that I learnt to swallow my pride and accept that we are after all, just human beings all trying to survive to the best of our ability on this planet.

Because of this I no longer feel resentment or blame the South African Government for our fall from grace, but can almost find gratitude in my heart that in a way, he has helped us to find our way again; that we are now learning to live decent, healthy lives where we can find pride in our achievements and face challenges with our new found confidence.

We have always laughed when the apartheid government have been blamed for almost anything going wrong in the new South Africa; unrest at universities, service delivery failures, non-delivery of school text books, power blackouts, moral decay, the chaotic nature of Parliament are just a few problems that have sprung up in the last 20 plus years and are all blamed on the old regime. In fact, to quote President Zuma in his State of the Nation speech some years back, “Apartheid is the cause of all South Africa’s problems.”

But in a way I have begun to blame apartheid for our present situation too.  If it hadn’t existed people wouldn’t have been divided and there would be no need for this transitional stage where the “disadvantaged” now need to be given preference meaning that we would have had the opportunity to find work when our business failed. This would include a large portion of the Scatterlings of Africa who have had to seek employment elsewhere merely to make a living.   We wouldn’t have needed to leave South Africa.

I was advised that since I was finding it difficult to find a job,  I should opt for volunteering in the Charity shops.  Apparently this could lead to my finding gainful employment eventually. All job seekers are encouraged to follow this route and in fact after a certain period of time drawing a job seekers allowance one is almost forced to go this route or drop out of the system completely.    This is often called "Job Experience" where you are extremely fortunate to be gaining experience while you sweep, stack shelves, serve customers or do whatever you're told and the company you've been placed with are doing you such a huge favour while they pay you zero for your hard work.  Sounds like a good idea?  For the company yes, but I'd like to actually be paid for my hard work thank you.


The Charity shop where I sorted people's used, smelly clothing for re-sale.




 



After two years in the UK I still felt homesick and in fact more so as I yearned for anything from home. I listened to my favourite Algoa FM radio station online and constantly touched base with other “Saffas” living in the UK.  I was advised to make an effort to think of the UK as ‘home’, but in my heart I felt that my only home is and always will be Africa. 

Over time and with practice we got used to the money and no longer held up the queue in the supermarket while we peered at each coin to read the denominations. We learnt how to use the underground train system in London.  We also learnt never to try to talk to a fellow passenger on those trains. Only foreigners talk to each other.   We accepted the ways of doing business in the UK where people tend to hide behind computer screens and everything is done on-line.  We stopped proudly advertising that we were from South Africa unless we were asked.  We learnt how to discuss the weather, daily, constantly, unceasingly; everyone wants to talk about the weather.



We found the self service checkouts to be quite challenging and wondered how they'd work in Africa






We tried not to talk about the good old days or tell people about how we lived and what we did while we lived there. Nobody appreciated listening to our tales of “When we were living in South Africa….” or “in South Africa this is how we do things”.  Nobody’s interested and in fact they become irritated.    We knew they’d rather discuss the football score than our adventures in the Southern Hemisphere so we kept our mouths closed.  We had a fear of being labelled “when-we’s” as we referred to the ex-Rhodesian and Zimbabweans.  But I have a much better understanding of what those people have gone through now.  We feel at one with all the other African Scatterlings wherever they are in the world and we all share one thing in common:  We will always love and miss Africa.

We began to attend “Saffa” reunions where we could use our South African-isms and share memories, eat braais and biltong and where we felt welcomed and understood.  We loved to hear their stories of how they’d ‘made it’ in this new world. It gave us encouragement and hope for our future meeting people who’d lived there for more than 10 years and had settled down, fitted in and were enjoying life. 


Saffa reunion in Gloucestershire



Gloucestershire Saffa Braai

But I still felt that I would forever be an outsider, in need of a sense of belonging, but also with a realisation that I didn’t belong anywhere now.

There are people from all over Africa who have been uprooted and had to start their lives afresh in a new country at a time when they should have been looking forward to grandchildren and retirement.  We have tried to return "home" to countries that are unfamiliar and strange.  We’re supposed to feel that we belong in these countries of our forefathers. But we never forget Africa because we still feel that we belong there. And yet the Africa we knew and feel we belong to is fast disappearing and still the country of our roots doesn't feel like home at all.

This poem currently doing the rounds says it well:

Africa smiled a little, when you left.

“We know you,” Africa said. 

“We have seen and watched you. 

We can learn to live without you, but we know we needn’t yet.”

And Africa smiled a little, when you left……

“You cannot leave Africa” Africa said, “We are always with you, there inside your head.  Our rivers run in currents in the swirl of your thumbprints; our drumbeats counting out your pulse; our coastline the silhouette of your soul.”

So Africa smiled a little, when you left.

“We are in you” Africa said. 

“You have not left us yet. “             

Anonymous




  

 

 

 

 

Location: Bathurst, South Africa

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